Ink Stained Jeans

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Swirling

Swirling

By: James Dubeau

Swirling

Twirling

Spinning

Around the drain

That is a dark lament

Reaching out

Grasping

For a handhold

To pull free

Wanting something

Anything

To click

Turning brass gears

Latch into place

And embrace

While taken for a ride

Across the cosmos

Through time and space

Into the great darkness beyond

Where lights of stars

And whole galaxies

Would only dream

To dare to tread

Background radiation

Drowns it all out

To nothing but

A pleasant

White

Noise

Choking out

A throaty scream

Single-Serving

Single-Serving

By: James Dubeau

Everywhere I go

In my tiny life

Everything must be

Single-serving strife

The coffee

The sugar

Even the cream

And when I do cook

Massive batches are made

Of chili

Stir-fry

Or even pasta

To be divvied up

Into single-serving batches

To be eaten as lunches

Over a week or three

For if I don’t

All the groceries go bad

Siting in the fridge

Waiting to be eaten

But I do like to cook

Honestly I do

And would cook even more

But it is just no fun

To be cooking for one

Dangling

Dangling

By: James Dubeau

Dangling

Just out of reach

Of outstretched arms

My fingertips almost touch

Can almost grasp

Can almost make it mine

But no matter

How I contort my body

My arms cannot stretch any further

It would not be so painful

If I never had the taste

The sweet taste

Upon my lips

Knowing I was almost there

Almost had it

Almost achieved the desire

Once

Makes the craving

All the more

Infuriating

Crossing Paths

Crossing Paths

By: James Dubeau

A few flakes of snow

Drifted past

My fogged over glasses

And frozen white breath

Greens turned yellow

Then to red

And I pushed off

Feet struggled to find traction

Upon my peddles

As my bike rolled

Across the empty crosswalk

I looked up

My vision filled

With a large symbol

Headlights

Grill

Which I once knew well

I stumbled

I peddled

I got out of the way

Movement washed cold wind

Across my face

Clearing fog and improving vision

I turned to see

The flaxen haired motorist

Who hadn’t graced my presence

Since the sun was hot

And Cajun music

Wafted through the air

Our eyes did not meet

She had turned to fiddle

With something in the back seat

The light turned green

And she was gone

But the memories of days gone by

Flooded back

And I wondered if I would ever

Grace the tavern again

To put down money

For beers and the gambling of meat

Our First Laugh

Our First Laugh

By: James Dubeau

As we sit here

On this curb

Sharing our first laugh

We are living moments

The best moments

We’ll ever have

Between you and I

This is as good as it gets

When anything is possible

No annoying habits

No hurt feelings

It’s all downhill from here

Someone will say something

Bitterness will creep in

One of us will be hurt

It’ll all become a chore

Until it is ended

And we go our separate ways

But let us not think about that

The way it always goes

Let’s live in this moment

Live it up while we can

Be happy and joyful

And enjoy this laugh

Before it turns to tears

So Long Space Cowboy

So Long Space Cowboy

By: James Dubeau

Single streak of white

Against the endless azure

As it turns to black

And the starry void

Above and beyond

With you was carried

More than just

2800 tons of rocket fuel

There was also

The hopes and dreams

Of every man, woman, and child

As you bounded across

That hunk of cheese

Even today

Children still dream

Of walking with you

Bouncing with each step

From the Eagle

So with a heavy heart

I must say

To you Neil Armstrong

So long

Space cowboy

Mid Fall

Mid Fall

By: James Dubeau

Footfall after footfall

Against the trail

Running across the countryside

The sun tried to cling to the sky

But slowly fell behind me

Joining leafless trees

And dead prairie grass

Upon the horizon

It is these autumn days

Same days as last year

And the year before that

Which has me wondering

About my place in this world

As I watch those blossoms

Which once had vitality

Wither and die

Unfinished

Unfinished

By: James Dubeau

What is this

What am I doing

Sitting in the coffee shop

Drinking it black

While tapping keys

Idly working on

One project

Than another

Before losing an hour

Or maybe three

Surfing the web

For this and that

Why is there no focus

Why is nothing finished

Where did it all go

When I was not looking

Did my muse run off

Taking my creativity with her

Did stresses surmount all else
Do I not want to write anymore

Or maybe my creativity never was

Leaving behind all the projects

Pending on my computer

Novel third draft only just started

Short story fourth draft halfway finished

And least of all

This poem

Is not…

Wondering Thoughts

Wondering Thoughts

By: James Dubeau

There are those moves

Which one does make

Late at night

With a belly full of booze

When the internal editor

Is fast asleep at the switch

He could have said

Those choices would result

In nothing but sadness

And changed the course

But he cannot tonight

Not while his snores

Echo though the skull

Reverberating

That dull ache

Just before hangover

So one just sits

Lamenting

Recent decisions

As well as those

From years gone past

Thoughts and memories

Float on past

Tears well from the corners

To be brushed away

And forgotten

Seconds turn to minutes

Minutes turn to hours

Hours turn to days

Days turn to years

Slowly fading away

To be background noise

But there are those times

It all comes flooding back

Making it all fresh again

Like a knife upon the flesh

When all that remained

Was a memory

Or an idea

Of a memory

Which never was

And never will be

Again

Haggard Paladin

Haggard Paladin

By: James Dubeau

Once upon a time

My sword shined in the sun

Strong and sharp

I stood

Waiting for the dragon

To crest the hill

Ready to be slain

But now I sit

Haggard and old

Rust flaked from my sword

The edge could not cut grass

As the dragon flies

High overhead

Breathing down fire and death

Upon all I hold dear 

There is nothing that I can do

But wait

And hope

For an opening

To slay the beast

But it will never come

Before the time

Left in my soul

Melts away

Farmer Driven

Farmer Driven

By: James Dubeau

Big green John Deere

Rolling along

The country side

Traveling paved roads

Slowing traffic behind

A line of cars

Afraid to pass

On rolling hills

Just outside of town

There was once a time

Where this scene did not happen

Before the advent of blacktop

And combustion engines

Fields were not cut up

Divvied up

By what the taxman wished

When the fields were worked

By plow pulled by horse

Or mule

Or oxen

We are all victims of his success

A nation grown fat

Bloated

On bounty filled bread baskets

Us in our automobiles

Pissed off

Him in an air conditioned king cab

Hoping seed prices

Don’t send him under

Dark Past

Dark Past

By: James Dubeau

Why does the dark past

Invoke such nightmares

Upon the soul

And set the mind

Tumbling

Through time and space

Not letting rest

Reach weary eyes

When the night runs long

Mental guards drop

Letting murky ooze

Seep though

Poisoning the mind

Sending it in spirals

Bringing back

Every detail

Every smile

Every laugh

Every thought

Every emotion

Of those days

Long ago

Tearing tenuously healed wounds

Open and raw

Fresh searing pain

Which can only be cured

With more time

Whiskey

And sleep

Hexed Perseverance

Hexed Perseverance

By: James Dubeau 

Doused in gasoline

The hard black husk

Was ignited

By a single spark

Completely engulfed in flame

Burning bright

Hot

Fast

Until cracks appeared

And opened wide

Exposing

Glowing orange embers

Raw

Molten

Pulsating

Once alive

Full of vigor

Energy

Life

Reduced to nothing

Licking flames

Turn to powdered gray ash

To be blown away

In the slightest of breeze

Forgotten about

Forever

Unrequited Love

Unrequited Love

By: James Dubeau

I walk alone

Along a dusty path

Headed toward the horizon

The desert

Then the sea

And the edge of forever

A land I do not know

A future unsure

She doesn’t know

She doesn’t care

My words go unheard

My gestures unseen

Just as the emerging stars

Twinkling above

Cannot comprehend

My screams

Does it even matter?

Anymore?

Did it ever?

Once before?

But I cannot turn away

Lock her out of my mind

No matter how hard I try

That is how it goes

So I must continue on

With an outstretched hand

Waiting

Wanting

To be filled

By another’s

Dance Becomes Me

Dance Becomes Me

By: James Dubeau

Living on the razor

I step cautiously upon the blade

The knife edge slices into my flesh

Greasy blood trails in my wake

Careful not to slip

Not to fall

To either side

A cough emerges

From my parched throat

Keeping me awake

Though the midnight hours

Not permitting sleep

Peaceful rest

To rejuvenate my body

Hunger aches deep in my belly

My soul cries

With a cracking voice

I can do this

Silent at first

But growing

Stronger

Louder

No longer do I fear

Swirling storm clouds

Or a heaven turned black

Big wet drops plummet

Washing away my blood soaked trail

And razor transforms

To a moss covered garden path

I am drenched from head to toe

Smiling

Dance becomes me

Cross Word

Cross Word

By: James Dubeau

Up and down

Over and across

The rope does tie

It does bind

No more struggling

No more screaming

From the battered and bruised

Locked away

In the dark little boot

As we bounce

Along old dirt trails

In search of a hidden land

For a shallow dug

Deserving resting place

For what was said 

Roulette

Roulette

By: James Dubeau

Click

Soulless days

Spent punching 9 to 5

For a soulless company

Only filling space

Only filling time

Only a number

A lonely cog in the machine

Click

Soulless life

No true friends

To hang out with

Talking about this and that

Being real

Being true

Being there

Click

Soulless love

No one to come home to

To be in love with

No one to cheer for

No one to be cheered by

Empty bed

Empty heart

Click

Soulless home

No family left

Parents are gone

Along with all others

Who bear the same name

Dead and buried

Or left estranged

Click

Go out on a limb

Make an effort

Fill the days

With life and love

And home will sing

Happiness and joy

An overflowing soul

Bang

Slant Ways

Slant Ways

By: James Dubeau

The night before last

When day turned to the

The moon was falling

Slant ways

Shouldn't that orb

Always be rising

When darkness freshly falls

I wish it were so

But no

Luna was setting

In such a way

That made me sad

Behind the trees

Never to be seen

In all her glory

Falling

Slant ways

Slipping Between the Crowds

Slipping Between the Crowds

By: James Dubeau

Slipping between the crowds

As the one

That does not

Belong

My ticket to this

High society affair

Is a lie

A forgery

A fake

Just enough

To get me through

The security

And double doors

To walk amongst

The rich

The famous

The powerful

Weaving through the crowds

With wine in my hand

Overhearing conversations

My ears should not hear

Gathering intel

On the enemies

Which I shall soon

Face