Monday, December 29, 2008


Cold dark tendrils reach out
Grabbing and pulling at limbs
Limbs that flail about
In the cacophony of screams
While the body dragged slowly down
Flailing about enraged the beast
Tentacles of pain and sorrow squeezed
Against any effort
Slowly choking life from the body
Neurotoxin venom seeps through pores
Secreted from the giant beast’s suction cups
Visions of happiness and accomplishment flash
Delusions of a better time
Bring smiles to the body’s face
Welcoming the impending doom
As darkness swallows all
In the end
Only the body remains
Slowly rocking back and forth
Going mad
As the world passes it by

Friday, December 26, 2008

Indiscretionary Lament

From head to toe
You tease me so
But I do fear
It’ll get weird
So I think I’ll say thank you
But still I’ll say adieu
For friendship is a value
Not a taboo

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Attack of the Santas

'Twas the day before Christmas
we saw such a sight
it was a million Santas
robbing every store in sight

Their leader was obvious
he had all the might
while holding a Santa head
he commanded them to fight

They all ran straight at us
the Santa clones in mass
the red flood of fury came
to pummel us to grass

The leader laughed with a HO HO of glee
as he threw the head straight at me
I caught it by reaction, That was all I could do
I may never sleep again, how could you?

My friends were in need
I could not go to help
it was intriguing indeed
the words that they shout

Those are Santa clones
for they are not real
they are attacking drones
soon we won't feel

I finally found the rage
to attack the red in sight
they couldn't put me in a cage
oh no, not on that night

It was a loosing battle
we were to be fodder
the Santas came like cattle
not prepared for the slaughter

I looked up to the sky
and what could possibly go by
but Santa and his sleigh
with paratroopers on their way

They landed on the hill
and put up a fight
they shot to kill
and nailed every clone in sight

The clones' leader went away
but his note did stay
I am Satan Claws it did say
and I'll return one of these days

So that is how it happened
when I saved the day
Santa made me a Captain
And thanked me 'til mid May

Friday, December 19, 2008

R & D Inquiries - Part 1

Robert adjusted his glasses as he worked the jumble from the morning newspaper. Newspaper cryptography puzzles were not nearly as challenging as the posted difficulty ratings led him to believe. It was only a few moments of talking the letters out loud before the answers flowed from his pen onto the newspaper page.

“Can you be quiet over there?” Dan asked from his desk across the cramped office. “You know I can’t think while you ramble on.” Dan took a nail kit out of his desk drawer and went to work on his fingernails. A sudden lack of business had kept the pair low on funds and he had to cut back on his manicure appointments.

A sudden rap on the frosted glass office door startled the pair. It took them a moment to realize that someone was at their door, a prospective client perhaps. Coming to his senses, Robert shouted for the person to come into the office. Slowly the door opened and a long shapely leg stepped through, followed by the rest of the shapely body.

“What can we do for you, miss?” Dan said, smiling as he stood to greet the stranger. Robert’s interest in the woman dwindled as Dan greeted her, the jumble was far more interesting and his partner was always the best in securing their jobs.

The woman held a handkerchief to her nose as tears streamed down her cheek. Between sobs she was able to choke out a reply. “Annetta, my name is Annetta. Tilly has been kidnapped. My precious little Tilly. I can not live without her.”

“Please calm down Annetta,” Dan put his arm around the woman, trying to comfort her. “Who exactly is Tilly? Did you report this to the police?”

The woman’s sobbing slowed as Dan comforted her. “They said that Tilly was too low of a priority for them. They said that there were real crimes to solve, not just some stupid little dognapping.” Dan comforted her and coaxed the rest of the story from the woman. “Tilly is my prized corgi, a show dog of the highest caliber. She has won many dog shows, and she is my pride and joy. Now that she is gone, I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“Its ok, you came to the right place. We will find Tilly for you.”

“Thank you. I was afraid you would be like those dreadful police.” A small smile cracked across her face as the sobbing stopped.

“Can you work us up a contract?” Dan asked of his partner. Robert’s fingers clacked on the keyboard as Dan continued sooth the woman. “Why do you think Tilly was dognapped? She could have just run away.”

“Oh no, not my Tilly. She would never do that. Not just before a dog show. I think she loves them more than I do. If I were to guess, I would say that Aaron dognapped Tilly. It would be the only way his Ein would have a chance of winning the Annual dog show.” Conviction rang out in Annetta’s voice as she spoke about Aaron.

“This Aaron sound like a good place to start.” Dan said, a smile shot across his face. The only thing that could be possibly better than a beautiful woman in the office was the prospect for an easy job.

“I agree,” Robert said as he joined the pair across the office, a contract was in his hand. “Could you please sign here?”

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

'Quantum of Solace' Review

****/***** Casino Royale was the longest Bond film, Quantum of Solace was the shortest. That fact in and of itself should tell you something. I feel that the movie needed another 6 months of development, with that development it could have been as good as CR. The dialogue was not as good as it could have been and they could have done a lot more with the ideas and story that were present.

There were a lot of action sequences which were done with the "shaky camera" style combined with really quick edits. By the time you figured out what you were looking at (was that Bond's car or the bad guy’s car?) the movie had jumped on to the next shot. I can only fault the movie so much for this; they did have a director from the Jason Borne movies on the 2nd unit, the films that made shaky camera famous. Fortunately, this was mostly contained to the first half of the movie, the second half the cameramen seemed to calm down a bit.

Most people (Like Ebert) had complained about the plot, that it wasn't big enough. They want Bond to be out saving the world not messing around in a two bit country. If you read Ebert's review of CR you would know that Bond not saving the world was exactly why he loved CR. I think that this again goes to show that the movie was not as good as it could have been. CR was so good that people didn't care that Bond wasn't saving the world. (I also think it is more proof that Ebert is going senile.)

There were also complaints that the movie didn't have enough of the things that make up a bond movie, such as girls with stupid/sexy names and Bond having sex with everything that moves. Bond doesn't have that much sex because the woman he loved just killed herself only a short time before the movie started. QoS starts off about 10 minutes after CR ends. As for the girls with those names, they do have a character named Fields in the movie; if you watch the credits you see that her name is actually Strawberry Fields. There is an even better pun on her name in the movie.

All in all, the movie was a good time had by all. My friends really liked it and I enjoyed it. All of the faults that I have with the movie are because I'm too close; I'm too much of a Bond fan to be able to watch it as just a movie. Most of my complaints can be written off as those stupid little things that are said and done just because it is an action movie and not a film. The story has left me wanting more; I can’t wait to see what they are going to do next.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Unified Theory of Toast

Clink, Clink, Clink. Forks and knives tap against the side of half filled water glasses. Hoots and hollers rang out as the bride and groom did the two tongue tango. An over weight older gentleman in an ill fitting tuxedo with a bad comb-over stood, a champagne glass was held in his outstretched hand. The crowded dining area fell silent as words started to flow from his mouth.

The elder man’s words danced, flowed, and jabbed in the din light. Smiles, tears, and embarrassments struck the young bride all at once. The man that had hated all of her boyfriends, the man that was always so strict, the man that raised her, had a smile on his face as a tear rolled down his cheek. In one night he had become a sentimental old fool.

Almost as soon as it started, it was over. Glasses were raised to lips and the bubbly liquid poured into awaiting mouths. The old man sat back down as the best man stood with his glass raised. It was not long until the old man’s words were forgotten, but the pure emotion stayed in the bride’s heart. True love existed between the father and the daughter.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Absent Elucidation

Snow fell heavy upon my heart
As everything became dark and distant
In this cold harsh winter
Only hard drives provided a warming glow
As they crashed and burned in the distance
Killing all that thrived around them
Leaving a swath of scorched lifeless earth
Where not even snow was brave enough to tread
Eventually things changed
Damning fires exhausted themselves of their fury
Leaving rotting metal carcasses behind
Scavengers picked the bones clean
Fertilizing the land as they went
Turning the wasteland into fertile soil
Soon new life will be cultivated from the death
Bringing forth fruits that are ripe and juicy
Nectar dribbling down laughing smiling cheeks
As all becomes right with the world again