To All Those

To All Those
By: James Dubeau

To all those
That I’ve loved
Before
Through the good
And the bad
Those were experiences
We did have
Things that I’ll
Never forget
Will never surrender
To the sands of time
But
Now that you are gone
And life is
How it is
How it was
Leaving me
Alone
For these days
As time grows short
And night
Grows longer
We shall go
Our different ways
I do hope
That you are well
And that it all
Does work out swell
For as it stands
I do say
That to all those
That I have loved
Before
My feelings stay clear
And I still do
Love you so
So have a happy
Valentines Day
This year
And the next
For nothing else
Shall bring me joy

China Doll Crimson

China Doll Crimson
By: James Dubeau

China doll eyes
Greeted my gaze
And drunken haze
My wet left hand
Lay in a crimson pool
Wrapped around the waist
Of the ginger haired girl
Particles floated through
Lighted streams
Of the morning
Western sun
A wicked red grin
Etched across the face
Of the girl with raven hair
A grin which will never
Rise once again
Stabbing pain
Wracked my mind
Their porcelain skin
Was marred
No longer pure
No longer lithe
No longer
No longer
Cobwebs slowly cleared
Letting me see through the veil
Dripping prints from my hands
Covered the women
The sheets
The walls
The knife
In my right hand
My fingers twitch
Feeling the blade
For the first time
The last time
I threw it away
Away from me
Away from the dead
Away
Through the window
Town came alive
Streets filled with people
Making their merry way
On the street corner
Looking up at me
Was the man dressed in black
His gaze met mine
Before returning to his
Silver pocket watch
He knows what happened
He knows what I did
He knows it all
I must get away
Far away from this place
Wash away the blood
And the lies
And this life
And just keep moving on
Before it all
Comes crashing down

Down This Path

Down This Path
By: James Dubeau

It is just so hard
To keep putting
One foot after the other
Down this path
That lies before me
As it twists and turns
Through the countryside
Climbing steep hills
Over outcroppings of rock
And fording icy streams
Which threaten to wash out
My unguided path
A foot falls
And falls
And falls
After the last
Before the next
Leaving me
Tired
Beaten
Cold
Wet
Hungry
It is just so hard
But
My feet keep falling
Dragging forward
Down this path
That lies before me

Patriarch Patron

Patriarch Patron
By: James Dubeau

At the edge
Of the long
Wooden
Bar
He sits
Not an emotion shows
Upon his face
As music plays
And rowdy cheers
Float on by
His black suit
Masks his aging body
In dark shadows
His white beard
And head of hair
Seemingly float
A pocket watch
Glitters in the faint light
Silver chain
Reaches to his
Vest pocket
His eyes
Seem to study
The ticking hands
As I return
My attention
To my companions
He looks to me
A gleam in his eye
And then
He is
Gone

Black Horizon

Black Horizon
By: James Dubeau

White foam breaks
Impenetrable darkness
Of incoming waves
Whose blackness extends
An incalculable distance
Reaching towards
Becoming
The starless sky
Water laps
Upon my toes
Slowly washing away
Footprints
Removing all trace
Of my existence
From this earth
Each step
Brings the invisible horizon
Closer
Water washes past
Cleansing my soul
Enveloping me
Devouring me
For once I have been baptized
By the depths
I shall scream out
And become
No more

Everything Has Changed

Everything Has Changed
By: James Dubeau

Everything has changed
Litter across my cerebral countryside
Battered this feeble mind
But there is hope
Incoherent babbling hope
Ripe for the plunder
Now before it is too late
If only I could
Revolutionize my dreams to
Embark upon the future’s quests

Ravishly Imagined Never

Ravishly Imagined Never
By: James Dubeau

Wrapped only in darkness
Our two bodies writhe
Together
Passionately devouring
Lips
Souls
Feverishly hands
Rake across skin
Clawing
Grasping
Caressing
Pulling you to me
And me into you
Silken sheets drape
Across our bodies
Twisting
Tying
Binding
Our legs
Our bodies together
Star shine
Filters through
Illuminating you and I
Eyes lock
Pausing
For mere moments
Taking it all in
Heart
Mind
Body
Soul
Before attacking
Ravishing
Once again lost
In deliciously carnal
Lust

----------

My hand reaches
Across the bed
Grasping
Squeezing
Nothing but sheets
Eyes flash open
To nothingness
You were not here
Not with me
Not tonight
Not ever
Chilled air
Raises mountains
Gooseflesh upon my arms
Legs
Entire body
There was no way
You could have
Been with me
As always
Everything is a bit
Complicated
Sadness overtakes me
Only briefly
Replaced by a wolfish grin
Eyes close
As my mind
Drifts
And dances
With the
Technicolor dream
Before it fades
With the dull gray
Lights of dawn

Eighteen Weeks

Eighteen Weeks
(Inspired by Merle Travis’s “Sixteen Tons”.)
By: James Dubeau

They say a man is nothing but grit
This lone man can never quit
Never quit and keep on goin'
The towel will never be thrown on in

You go eighteen weeks, what do you get
A little bit stronger and faster I’ll bet
Ambition don’t you leave me ‘cause I can’t stop
Not ‘till this demon flies away from here

I had awoken one day when the clouds did part
I picked up my head and raised my heart
I’ll go for eighteen weeks on the hard road
As long as these feelings do not erode

You go eighteen weeks, what do you get
A little bit stronger and faster I’ll bet
Ambition don’t you leave me ‘cause I can’t stop
Not ‘till this demon flies away from here

I had awoken one day with a mind that’s clear
Just knowing that there was nothing to fear
For the worst of it all had come and gone
And I had gained quite a bit of brawn

You go eighteen weeks, what do you get
A little bit stronger and faster I’ll bet
Ambition don’t you leave me ‘cause I can’t stop
Not ‘till this demon flies away from here

While on the trail just get out of my way
Those who wouldn’t would always pay
With a left and a right I’m knocking ‘em down
That is until I can wear the crown

You go eighteen weeks, what do you get
A little bit stronger and faster I’ll bet
Ambition don’t you leave me ‘cause I can’t stop
Not ‘till this demon flies away from here

The Battle of Paper & Clip

It was proactive and action-oriented vice
Curved around its self twice or slyly slight thrice
For Clip was firm and held things in place
And Paper seldom exceeded plead, just-in-case

From a box of many it came
Here to keep these Papers tame
Assistant to red-tape, it had many uses
Manipulated, it could be bent and twirled as abuses

And the Paper would line, waiting for ink
Sometimes teetering right next to the brink
Deskination, brings about jag and rip
And so this is the battle of Paper & Clip

SPLACES

It's places filled with spaces

And spaces between places

People away from people

And people away from themselves

As people in present places, outside

Other blocks of stacked spaces

Hide inside spaces of themselves too

As she hides herself, he hides himself too

Although, just as most too
In far SPLACES

People and places
Are merged

With inner and outer spaces
Come to better places
(far away)

Run Real Fast

Wow! Another great day
achievement
appointment
disappointment
I feel somewhat mighty
Like I can conquer the day
Except for what you say
And can run really fast.....
Right off a building
On the way way down I think
You Think?
I fall really fast
Right through error
This wasn't for me
Fatherfuckpumpkinpiecocksuckingtruck
Smashing really hard...fuc.

Potential Energy

Potential Energy
By: James Dubeau

Goals
Are an interesting
And fickle beast
A firm wall
To bust through
Or bash your head upon
They give you
A progress bar
To judge yourself upon
How am I doing
Will I ever finish
Do I have what it takes
The funny
Little thing
Called
Potential
Does it live
In my heart
My mind
My soul
Or even in my
Little toe
Sitting there
At the cliff’s edge
Ready to plummet
Come alive
With energy
Bashing through
Obstacles
Rushing past
Goals
And those
Oh so elusive
Resolutions
Made every
New Year
The trick
Of it all
Is to keep
Momentum
While surging ahead
And that is what
I plan on doing
This year

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Death Of Me

Death Of Me
By: James Dubeau

The warning signs where there
From the very first day
When I drove that car
Down the snowy thoroughfares
When she bucked
And she slid
With no traction at all
Did I finally realize
I had not anti-lock breaks
Fortunately though
As the snow bank drew near
The tires did grip
Saving me
From certain destruction
However that was
But only the beginning
Of the trials and tribulations
That car has been through
For it has run into a brick wall
Backed into a mailbox
Shot with a BB gun
And covered with eggs
On a cold winter night
About a year ago
It was even rear ended
Cracking up the bumper
One of the worst
Was a few months ago
When I was merging onto the highway
In the dark or night
Traffic barrels guided me
As I merged from the left
Semi truck headlights blinded me
Threatening to run me over
Merging cautiously
But a bit to slow
The mirror caught a barrel
Popping it from the frame
Tonight however
I am glad
That I never replaced the mirror
For when I returned
To my loving car
From an evening with friends
The entire mirror assembly
Was no where to be seen
Once again my poor car
Had been hit
And scarred
Against this world
So remember this friends
When I die in the car
That you read it here first
My car which I adore
Will be
The death of me

Time

Time
By: James Dubeau

Sand slips through my fingers
As each day hurtle past
My grasp tightens
Trying
Desperately
To hold on
But it is to no avail
Grains slip through
Cracks and crevices
Behind me
An old man laughs
At my foolishness
He tips an hourglass
Sending the sand
Racing through my fingers
No
I scream
These are good times
Let them last
With my youth
His only response
Is continued laughter
And tipping the hourglass
Even further
Hastening my sand
Sun and moon
Flash by overhead
Submersing me in darkness and light
Days
Weeks
Months
Years
Fly on past
Time and time again
I scream in pain
My soul wracked
In deep torment
The old man laughs
Red glows behind beady eyes
Returning the hourglass
To how it once was
Sand no longer flows
While a sliver of moon
Grinds to a halt
High above me
No longer the anguish of
A happy life
Speeding by
Ravages me
For now a darker place
Grips my soul
Turning it most foul
Make it grow fast again
I whimper
The good times are gone
Wasted so fast
Only death and torment
Surround me now
It is much too painful
So I beg of you
Make time fly
Once more
Bring me to good times
Then slow it down
Let me enjoy happiness
Not suffer prolonged anguish
Once more he laughed
Shaking his finger at me
While caressing the hourglass
You shall submit to my will
For I control that
Which you hold most dear
This daemon was right
Soon madness will grasp me
Twisting and contorting my soul
I fell to my knees
And wept

Universal Thais

After two years in China where Blogger is blocked by the government via The Great Chinese Firewall, this is my first post since 2008. In Thailand, not near as much is blocked, unless it is critical of The King. The assignment was to write a short paragraph comprising of at least five sentences about the happiest day of your life. The following was written by a fifteen-year-old in an Elementary English class of mine. His name is Bank and he was born and raised in Bangkok, Thailand.

The picture above is of the Soi, or alleyway, where my building is located near the Wong Wian Yai area in Bangkok.

"I don't have any happiest day in my life because in my own life I only have bad days, so so and good days. When I meet the bad day I will smile and laugh because it's just the waves like the sea in my life. I think that the people's life is like the sea - some days it'll be cloudy but sometimes it'll be sunny. I can't avoid them that's why I have to smile for my sake and for my family so that they don't have to look so down when they see me in a bad mood. But when I meet the good day I'll remember it because humans don't meet their good days every day. I just remember it and I don't want to smile because sometime when I meet the happiest day I have to hurt other people. Sometimes I know it but sometimes I don't know how I hurt people's feelings. That's why I don't have the happiest day, I just remember it and walk...my own way of life."

Thoughts?