Fallen log, freshly growing pine, bed of leaves, roar of a cool breeze, falling rain, pitter-patter pitter-patter, moss covered stones, cut down stumps, young trees sprouting, birch tree, pine tree, oak tree, cawing bird, chirping birds, brown and green, brown and green, carpet of dead leaves, new growth sprouting, lichen covered trunks, brown and green, white of the birch, grey of the sky, rolling hill, light valley, rotting log, stick, twig, acorn, pine cone, bark
Monday, August 18, 2008
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This totally reminds me of when we had to sit in the woods at Boy Scout camp for that Environmental Science merit badge. It would've been cool if you listed the things from top to bottom, say: sky, tree, ground, for example, if you catch my drift, because suggestions are always nice. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThats a great idea. I'll keep that in consideration for the next revision.
ReplyDeleteWow James, I didn't know you had it in you. That's awesome. And while listing them from top to bottom would be a good idea, I very much enjoyed the randomness. Made me feel as though I were just lying there looking from thing to thing letting my mind wander and enjoying the scenery as it caught my attention.
ReplyDeleteThank you Roger. The problem I have with poetry is that the more I work a single piece the more un-poetic it seems to be to me. You are right, as it is written now it does seem to put you deep in the forest, lying on your back, and just observing. Which I hope it does, since that is exactly what I was doing when I wrote it. =D As for structuring and reordering it, that may be interesting. I think I’ll try reworking this piece as an experiment and post it again in a couple of weeks.
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