How Does It Feel

How Does It Feel
By James Dubeau

How does it feel
When the pain goes away
Is there an absence
A void which can never be filled
Or is the emptiness replaced
With fear, desperation, insecurity
Or just loneliness
How does it feel
To be able to fall asleep when tired
Not having to wait for exhaustion
Or to lay in the fetal position
Shivering and weeping under the blankets
Without sweat soaking nightmares
How does it feel
With cold hard steel pressed against skin
Held tight to the temple
Rattling metal in shaky hands
Will the heart race beyond control
Or just flutter on as normal
How does it feel
When the bullet pierces flesh
Smashing bone and brain
Leaving shards imbedded in the wall
Dripping with fresh wet gore
How does it feel